給三十歲女人的情信

Guest Writer: Bono Lee

各位姐妹，我們的好朋友 Bono的文章，《單身女團》。讓我們暫時稱它為Bono給我們的情信，這樣的一篇文章，給你打支「自信針」，讓你變得更美麗、更快樂﹗

單身女團 -- 李照興

她們並非怨女，而是安靜地在垂釣的小姐，不心急是否有魚，有當然好，但沒有也不相干，因爲過程與等待中她們自得其樂，享受過風和日麗和美味吐司餅。

我未清楚「新三十」這概念到目前爲止有幾成熟，但我眼見本地的女子，或多或少都沾了這種新三十人類的特徵，有這樣的女性好友群在身邊流轉。　　

她們現在都沒有拍拖; 她們不是從未嘗過拍拖，只是現在都不再急了; 她們有些是剛跟情人分手，而且不少是拍拖多年，有一兩個甚至已離婚; 她們有一定的經濟事業基礎; 她們肯定不算老，甚至可說正值花樣年華，但同時自覺已不像20來歲的後輩一樣敢作敢爲; 她們在人海之中碰上近似的好姊妹於是結爲深交同哭同笑; 她們聯群結隊去做gym然後到文華食cake跟著到時代廣場shopping; 她們，大多是30歲上下。

《紐約時報》報道了這種近年興起的新三十成人典派對，對比起往日十八成人，現在的都市青年，很有機會到三十才真正成長: 終於完全完成學業（現代人求學時間太長，有些28歲又返學府）, 脫離家庭, 真正選擇職業與生活。

在事業前景上，這些新三十女性無疑更具自信和清晰方向。但感情上，她們並沒有那麽自信和清晰。而更重要的是她們也不急於尋找伴侶。過往女人三十就得結婚産子的壓力，已然過去。　　

聽張艾嘉說，年屆三十的女人，可以很壞。這個壞，惹我很多遐想。　　

她的意思是: 女人三十，可以有很多不同形式的關係。她相對自主，不像20多歲的女孩，往往過分依賴男人。女人三十“壞”在可以多選擇，有時難免要巧妙對應男女關係。使一點狡滑，放多點媚態。這種女人，不需男人寵。我則想到身邊這種三十紅粉兵團，像盛放的玫瑰。　　

她們處於穩定的四十與不知自己要什麽的二十之間。她知道自己追求的是什麽。有位朋友較爲開放，玩著短暫的床頭遊戲，爲的是過往的固定男友從未給她很大的滿足,“試得多，總會碰到各方面都匹配的。”　　

也有暫時不想男人這回事的，因爲厭了再照顧男人（香港男人有孩提化的現象，個個不願長大，反而要女方照顧）。亦有人鍾情與20歲男孩姊弟戀。　　

但其實嚴格上，這種女子群都沒有固定男人。或者應該說: 她們總把她們圈子內的姊姊妹妹，放在第一位，比家人與男友都親。我喜歡跟這種女子來往，雖然未必談戀愛。在這種不需猜心的交流中，你領會到自信自知女人的好處。或者我得修正，我還是樂意跟她們談戀愛，不過已不像20多歲的刻意裝扮、矯飾，因爲到了她們這年紀，閱曆，她已不會給你騙到，由此，作爲男人，你也不用盤算如何裝模作樣去哄她，多麽沒壓力的愛。　　

對的，我會把女人的黃金年華，延後至當今的30歲。大抵她們這年齡會更諒解男人，性經驗不缺，談吐見識不弱，更合乎作爲一個公平的伴侶。　　

她們比過往世紀的任何女人都多選擇。永遠不會因爲單一問題的意外就拖垮整個人生。感情未盡如意她們有事業;沒有事業也有家人; 家人不見就見老友。她們看上去或者不會哈哈大笑，講到沒男友或者會略有抱怨，但事實上，她們是最自由的。因此也最美麗動人。

The betraying D

She threw herself into bed with her evening gown, immersed her body into a white sea of soft cotton. Her black silky dress was shimmering its last rays, like a dead fish floating on water, reflecting the sunlight with its scales. Faced down on her pillow, she tried to quiet herself, "how could such thing happened?" She grasped a corner of her pillow, the only boat that carries her last hope of salvation.

Then she remembered the same panic once reigned over her, it's seven years ago, when she was 17. She was standing at the middle of an examination hall, sitting in front of her, 5 adjudicators. Then the same D-string cracked. Inexperienced, she was stunned, sweat ran over her, she pled for a second chance.

However, on the path to success, there is not always a second chance. What's the probability of breaking the same D-string during two most important performances in your life as a violinist? Isn't it a joke? Why the D-string has to crack when you are playing Pachelbel's Canon in D Major?

As the first violinist of that evening's chambre music concert, she knew she had to pass the test which guarantees her a contract of freedom, a new life away from London. The Cellist started, with full confidence, she joined in as the first violinist. She led in the actual canon, then the second and third violinists followed with 2 bars of interval each. At the 17th repetition of the bass chord, she heard the "Dong", and the D-string flapped at her face like a slap, bounced over, then died out on the violin. She looked at the broken violin over her shoulder, "shit!" For the rest of the performance, she had to play 5 notes down on the G-string and the canon continued. For her it was if she were playing in a funeral band marching behind her own coffin. All was lost!

"Am I waking up from a nightmare or my nightmare is just about to begin?" She asked. Picking up the violin from the floor, she opened the case, once again, her fingers were caressing the three strings and the broken one. The red violin, she inherited it from her grandmother, "take this, it's your destiny!" The old woman said to her and handed over her her won destiny.

My destiny, and my betraying D. She threw herself once again into the bed and let herself be crushed under the wheels of fate.

The English Channel

He is now driving northbound up to Calais, leaving Paris to his southeast. In some 30 minutes, he would be at the closest point to her. His car is taking 110km/h... still, the french cars are overtaking him at 150km/h. Why he is always in such a state of inertia when all the others are taking action to surpass him? He hopes, he can only hope for a fine and clear sky so that he would be able to see her.

After three stops for direction, his trip is delayed by 15 minutes. Finally, he is now standing on the tallest rock of the coastline. West to him is Atlantic Ocean, north to him is the Strait of Dover, the narrowest part of the English Chanel. This is the point closest to Dover with only 45km apart. The port and cityscape of Dover is discernible. The buildings lined up from left to right, punctuated by occasional space break. The tops of the buildings shrink into a tiny image powdered by a layer of smog and late afternoon dust. He imagines her opening the window of the White Cliffs Theatre where she will have a concert tonight. He imagines her looking at the other end of the sea during the rehearsal break, waving her bow in the air to him, scribbling in the foggy sky messages of love for him. He sees the vibration of the violin strings like a network of airwave, he listens to her violin resonating in the air, the words of her love and her disappointment. Her disappointment... on her sad innocent face. He sees her, floating in the air amidst the thin layer of smog, like the last time when he saw her, she was wrapped in her white cotton bedsheet, emitting her fragrant. "Caught it!" he wispered to her ears then held her tight to him.

There is another world beyond this seemingly intraversable sea, a world that promises him happiness and hope. Is it really intraversable? In 1785, the frenchman Jean-Pierre Blanchard successfully crossed the channel with an airballoon. Almost a century later, on 24 August 1875, an Englishman called Matthew Webb swam across the Strait in 21 hours and 45 minutes. Different attempts were contemplated by great adventurers to cross the strait, to go to the other end of the world. Today, one can easily travel with Eurostar, with a car or even walk throught the tunnel. What is dragging him here? What is dragging him?

The two cities may be within arm-reach, yet the two individuals are separated by a whole universe. Is the distance killing him or his own inertia? Why he is so incapable of action?! Once again, he sees the disappointment on her face and the white bedsheet stained with her tears. Looking over the channel, he reaches out his arms, he wants so much to hold her in his arms, to wipe the tears on her face.

Why he had to let her down? Why? He streches his arms in the empty air, the floating image of her is fading away, he clenches his fists to fight against the empty space like a lunatic. Hovered between anger and remorse, he cries out her name.

Perhaps Love

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

O, Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And someone say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it's cold outside, or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

-- John Denver

港男與港女

幾位朋友看了 「29 + 1 ︰這是一個責任問題」 一文後，或留言回應，或電郵說了一些看法，不過全部都是女性朋友，所以立場不是太多元化。

在葉一知的blog上有文一篇，題為「港女」，為這個甚為一眾姐妹難堪的名稱具體闡釋一翻，很有趣﹗大家有時間不妨一click，看看這個港男如何理解「港女」。

剛剛在朋友M的blog上看到這樣的說法，很有意思。港男不娶、港女不嫁，大家互「瞄」，到底哪裡出了岔子？香港的兩性不溝通，到了廿一世紀依然有「一條龍」的女校、男校存在，簡直不可思議。試問在這些修道院般的學校生存七年甚至十九年，大家又何以知道對方正在想些甚麼？當然，即使是男女校混出來的，也未必就能溝通兩性，這又涉及第二個「詞彙表達」的問題。少男少女交談喜歡用俗語，說話隱晦曖昧，「冧」、「溝」、「界」之類的動作，毫無誠意，時間上亦不允許有溝通的存在或可能性。「心照」啦，所以就不用說話了。

如是者，朋友M說，港男和港女在這個進化過程中，相去甚遠，形象越來越模糊，最終連一眼也看不上了。

以下是朋友M (In Love with Change) 的一段文字，抄下來和大家分享，希望m不要介意。

「現代女性的悲哀是，幸褔這一個看似簡單的願望，偏偏這麼近，卻又是那麼遠，令人無限欷歔。也許幸褔是一件很玄妙的東西吧，愈想得到，卻愈得不到。它有時伸手可及，只是我們愈走愈遠。聽過不少女生慨嘆現今男人質素差，愈來愈配不上她們。 坦白說我並不完全茍同 - 會不會只是大家在進化過程中沒有認清彼此的期望，然後雙方愈走愈遠? 很愛用"the best is yet to come"這句話鼔勵失意的朋友。我常想，如果大家嘗試，總可抓着一些小幸福吧。人生，總會有奇妙的意外 . . .」

接納與改變

「這是一個接納與改變的問題。」
談及一對朋友的婚姻問題時，小明醫生如是說。

甚麼是接納和改變？這是兩個人的相處秘笈。
「接納別人多於接納自己，
改變自己多於改變別人。」

出問題的一對朋友，兩人都是獵頭人的物色對象。工作時率領千軍萬馬，回到家也就繼續兩軍對壘，暗地裡不為意地互放冷箭，就連他們，也沒有意識到。而這種無形的傷害其實是最無法彌補的。

相見好，同住難。兩個人來自不同的環境，甚或兩個不同的文化，大家的生活習慣不一樣，相處當然不是容易的事。很多香港人都沒有經過同居的階段，結了婚後，不合拍、矛盾就會出現。凡事忍讓、遷就，當然大家都懂得講，但真正做起來，大家又是否真能沉著氣，斗耐力？

例如，我是個滋悠淡定的人，最怕別人大驚小怪。我的羅馬尼亞朋友偏惼就是個緊張大師 + 大驚小怪的人。有時，我也會按不住氣，告訴她，relax。當然 relax 了的人，是我不是她。對朋友已是如此，更何況是對待親人？ 我可以接納別人嗎？

法國婆婆說，不要企圖改變一個男人，這是女人最大的妄想﹗
法國媽媽說，一是接納，一是離開，二選一。

我有沒有企圖過改變一個男人呢？
記憶中，曾經說過這樣的話，「今晚你可唔可以唔著嗰件外套呀？﹗」、「你唔好成日唔出聲啦﹗」、「其實，你都可以試吓啲slim cut的褲﹗」等等。看得出，我只企圖改變一下對方的形象。性格喎，我真的沒有這樣的野心去改變一個人，自己努力了十幾年想改變自己的性格也辦不到，何以我們會有這樣的能耐和智慧去改變另一個人？

有沒有人曾試圖改變我？沒有﹗想像我的男朋友對我說，「你可唔可以唔遲到呀？」又或者「你下次再遲到我就飛你﹗」那我會怎樣呢？ 先行飛了他？還是真的以後就不再遲到了？我想我會改變他 -- 以不變應萬變，繼續訓練他的耐性﹗(不過，我真的希望我可以改過「遲到」這個壞習慣。原來「遲到」在道德上是等於不尊重對方，是蔑視對方的暗示。真的沒有想過是如此大件事喎﹗對不起呀，如果你曾經很無奈地等了我很久的話﹗)

如何可以相處得愉快，而且是一生一世的愉快？這是不是痴人說夢？

小明醫生又說︰「其實悶才是真正的生活，懂得從悶中生活，才是最實實在在的生活，到了精彩的時候，就自然變得更精彩。」

共勉之﹗

29 + 1 ︰這是一個責任問題

(本文為「29 + 1 」一劇而寫)









17 – 20 / 8 / 2006 8pm 香港藝術中心壽臣劇院


30 – 1
我常說，我沒有渡過29歲。30是一個心理關口，28時我已開始籌備我的30大關，29時我已默化了30。30時只是把29的「30之感」真實地活一次。漫長的30歲。

女人三十要獨立
踏入30大關之際，我突然辭去工作，携著行李箱到了巴黎。
隨之，我亦從豬肉佬口中的「亞妹」脫變為麵包師口中的「Madame」。
是老了？還是成熟了？

對於我的舉動，香港朋友說，「你真浪漫」，心裡那句是「你真不切實際」。
於是我說，這是一個「責任」問題。人總得為自己活一次，我要為我的生命負責任，而不是為別人的「期望」而活。
朋友總結說，「人是自私的。搞藝術的，更甚﹗」
各位藝術界的朋友們，我對不起大家了﹗

大概因為目的地是巴黎，所以大家自然聯想到「浪漫」二字。
事實？一點也不浪漫。
客在異鄉，面對的是一個更現實、更繁瑣的世界。如何為自己的未來打算？如何把握每一個不經常出現的機會？如何在各種不利的因素中爭取最佳表現？如何單身隻影參加攜眷派對？如何分得清法文名詞中的男與女？過來人對我說，請你比法國人苦幹三倍吧﹗

為何女人要上嫁？
我總說，香港女人是全亞洲最幸福的。我們享有亞洲女性中最大的社會自由和性別平等，所以港女表現出色，處處猶勝港男。女性要在生活和經濟上獨立，總已不成問題，問題在於「情緒獨立」或「感情獨立」。換句話說，買完「孤婆屋」，一下步就要「學習做孤婆」。而這，是一個痛苦的磨練。

早前讀過一篇文章，分析香港的男女人口比率和單身一族的型成原因。文中說，扣除菲傭人口，香港的適婚單身男性比女性多，但基於女人要上嫁的原因，所以，香港女人「嫁唔去」。問題是，既然大家 (各位姐妹) 可以衝破社會規範選擇單身，為何依然不能擺脫要「上嫁」的傳統價值觀？難道真的是喝慣紅酒，何苦要為一個男人喝啤酒？

我們有我們的夢想，我們也有我們的志向，何苦要做另一個人「背後的女人」？

吻

Gustav Klimt
The Kiss, 1907-08
180 x 180 cm (71 x 71 in);
Österreichisches Galerie Wien, vienna

吻 -- 火燙的雙唇
我的手陷進妳的血脈，
勾勒妳靈魂的輪廓。
蕩然無存的半空中，我抓住
妳的愛 --
閉上妳的雙眸，交出妳的靈魂﹗

吻 -- 緊貼的身軀
讓那思緒浮游，由心主宰
我無力地掛在你身上，
任那風，吹散我的髮絮，
我的影，
雙腳一蹬，讓我們奔向那神秘的國度﹗

吻 -- 綺麗的春光

滿地的鮮花因你們而醉，

愛的力量催撫著它們，春天來到，

彷若石擊湖水，激起心中澎湃愛意。

繾綣星光點綴你倆雲裳，

吻著 -- 吻著 -- 吻著﹗

為何女人要上嫁？

「為何女人要上嫁」，這是一個問題嗎？

「上嫁」 -- 即嫁一個比自己強的男人；
「強」 -- 自古以來指體能和體型上男比女高大強壯，所以和比自己高一個頭的女人走在街上，會被人「望」。記憶中，只有在Kundera的《The Unbearable Lightness of Being》裡，Tomas 和比自己高的女人有過一夜情。
「強」又指年齡上男人比女人年長，男人娶比自己年輕二十年的妻子，稱之為「艷福」，娶比自己大十年的女人，被指為「煲老牛」。
「強」又指男人比女人薪水職位高，不然男人會被他們的同類恥笑「吃軟飯」，異類則為她們的同伴找到個「爛泥扶唔上壁」的人不值。
「強」當然包括社會地位比女人高。

女人要上嫁，成為天公地義的事。早前，讀過一篇文章，分析香港的男女人口比率和單身一族的型成原因。文中說，扣除菲傭人口，香港的適婚單身男性比女性多，但基於這個女人要上嫁的原因，所以，香港女人嫁唔去。如果妳的生活習慣是喝紅酒，何苦要為一個男人喝啤酒？這樣說殘酷嗎？這還未算﹗對不起，有的女人只喝雞尾酒﹗多少香港女人背著身邊的男人，嘆息著︰這是最「雞肋」的年代﹗

一個女人在這個社會建制下，總不免要做出犧牲，我們不能如男性般，時時可以家庭、事業兩存其美 (雖然到最後他們常常會選擇自我破壞，也是因為一個字，貪)。如果要為一個不出色的男人洗衣煮飯、浪費時間，我何苦？生命中還有更多有意思、有意義的事情要做，我們有我們的夢想，我們也有我們的志向，何苦要做另一個人「背後的女人」？我想我會情願自己一個人看看書、看看戲、寫寫字。人是不是一定要有個伴？如果這是一個不能溝通的「伴」，那這個「伴」還存在嗎？很多人問我到底要找怎麼樣的人，其實，不過就是一個有才華、可以溝通的人而已。當然，一個讓我們願意為他洗衫煮飯的男人並不需要有財有勢，但我們總相信他可以改善我們的生活，可以給我們更高的社會地位，這稱之謂︰「上嫁」。

接著要說的，是一個我們眼中要「下嫁」的例子。

來自羅馬尼亞的小鄰居，是一個出色的法律研究生，能講流利的羅馬尼亞話、英文和法文，現在以她的第三語言在巴黎一大諗書，擊敗了許多本地學生，全班排名第五。男朋友比她小兩年，也諗法律，但連續留了兩級，現在學位還沒拿到。她務實、講效率，他飄忽、擅長遊魂。這男朋友在小鄰居父母眼中，就是標準的「爛泥扶唔上壁」。小鄰居說，他是我的精神嚮導，沒有他，我的生活枯燥無味。最近，巴黎一大告訴小鄰居，可以給她獎學金到美國 Cornell大學或San Diego大學讀一年LLM，小鄰居對這突如其來千載難逢的機會煩惱多於高興。她說，that means the end of my relationship and personal life﹗她不想去，想留在羅馬尼亞工作，教書。生活比事業重要，精神養分比學術成就重要，這是二十四歲的小鄰居的選擇。

到底要「上嫁」還是要「下嫁」，在香港是社會價值決定，在西方，可能留下來的空間多一點吧？不知道。

Little Prince, my rose and the fox

-- A 28 Nov 2005 version

The day when Little Prince decided to leave his planet, he came to his rose. He whispered to the first pedal of his rose, "my beautiful rose, I have to leave this planet and you have to stay in this soil for your own good. My beautiful rose, you have to grow and be brave. Don't be afriad, you are the most beautiful rose and you will shine with your courage".

His rose did not respond. Little Prince then whispered to the second pedal of his rose, "my beautiful rose, you are the one and the only one."

A drop of tear dropped from the pedals of his rose. Little Prince felt sad. He then whispered to the third pedal of his rose, "my beautiful rose, my heart is with you whereever I am."

A breeze blew over his rose, a pedal fell down onto the soil. Little Prince picked the pedal, put it close to his heart and set off his planet.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The day when Little Prince met the fox, he was sad.
The fox asked, "why are you sad, my friend?"

"My rose refuses to take the water I put in the jag before I left my planet, and now my beautiful rose is dying." Little Prince said, with the pedal close to his heart.

"Why your rose refuses to take the water you put in the jag before you left your planet?" asked the fox.

"Because she is angry with me," said Little Prince, with a drop of tear in his eye.

"Why she is angry with you, my friend?"

"Because I put the same water in the same jag for other roses,too," said Little Prince.

"So you have other roses in your planet", replied the fox.

"Yes, they make my planet more beautiful. But she is special, she is the one and the only one. Everymorning when the first sunlight shines on my planet, i would come to her, water her with the freshest morning dew. I would sit by her side while she takes the water and the air. Everynoon, when the breeze blows to my planet, I would come to her, cover her with my hands, so the soil would not dirt her pedals. Everynight, when the first moonlight appears in the starry sky, I would come to her, whisper to her, so she would not feel lonely. I share with her all my happiness and worries. I named her 'my rose', she is my only rose." Said Little Prince with his mind sank deep into his memory of his beautiful rose.

"Why she refuses to take the same water in the same jag with other roses, then?" asked the fox.

"I don't know", said Little Prince. "she would be angry when I water the other roses as the first sunlight shines on my planet; she would be angry when I cover the other roses when the afternoon breeze blows to my planet; she would be angry when I talk to other roses when the first moonlight appears in the starry sky." Said Little Prince.

"Ayhaa... so she is in love with you", said the fox.

"Love?" repeated Little Prince, "what is love?"

"Love, is to tame and to be tamed," said the fox.

"Love, is to tame and to be tamed," repeated Little Prince.

"Everymorning, your rose waits with great patience for the first sunlight to shine on your planet, for she, knows you would be there for her, to water her, to sit by her side. Her heart would beat fast when she hears your steps, her face would shine when she knows you will be sitting next to her.

"Everynoon, she expects with great courage for the breeze to blow so that you would cover her with your hands.

"Everynight, she prays for the moonlight to shine so that you would come to whisper your happiness and worries to her.

"She is tamed, my friend, she is tamed by you". Said the fox.

"She is tamed by me?" repeated Little Prince.

"She is tamed by you, so the first sunshine means not the beginning of the day but your love for her; so the afternoon breeze is no longer a danger but a proof of your love for her; so the moonlight talks are the private moments belong to you and her, just you and her. She would be jealous when you do the same to the other roses. So, she refuses to take the same water in the same jag with other roses." Said the fox.

"She is jealous? she is tamed?" asked Little Prince.

"So you are, my friend, you are tamed by your rose, too." Said the fox.

"I am tamed by my rose, too?" repeated Little Prince.

"You are tamed by your rose, so that you have to water her, to sit with her, to cover her, to talk to her, everymorning, everynoon, everynight. Your heart breaks when she refuses to take the water, to be covered by your hands, and to repond to your whispers. My friend, you are tamed by your rose, too." Said the fox.

"So I am tamed by my rose and my rose is tamed by me?" asked the Little Prince.

"So you are tamed by your rose and your rose is tamed by you," answered the fox.

Photos from http://www.lepetitprince.com/fr/

橘子和刀 – Canteen一幕 Une orange et un couteau

(記於十月一日晚上8時)

這沉悶的空氣使她顯得更加沉悶了。兩人對望著，一句話也沒有。他的眼神是試探式，她的眼神是等待式。

其實他心裡明白，只要他出現了，人來了，就可以了，說些甚麼並不重要。但不說話又不行，空氣凝固著的呀﹗他的喉嚨和這空氣一樣僵。臉與臉之間也不過就有這一來尺的距離，但這空間可以承受多大的距離？沉悶的空氣無情地在這空間擴大。說些話吧﹗說些話吧﹗在她的臉變僵之前，說些話吧﹗他催促著自己。張開了的雙唇，在空氣中凝住了，一句話也說不出來。他心裡不安，盤算著下一步怎樣做好。而他那稚氣的臉卻顯得出奇的平靜和自信，他低下頭，雙手按在桌子上，下巴貼著手背，臉上帶著微笑，眼睛向上一揚，甜甜地看偷望她。此刻，他像極了一隻哈巴狗，努力地擺著尾巴，丐求著主人的寬恕。從這個角度看，她的臉顯得更圓了，豐厚的下巴不聽話地湧上來。此刻，這張臉看上去一定比他年輕。

她的眼腈一閃一閃，故意不去看他。氣都消了，就等他先開口說一句話。心裡著急，不知道這沉默還可以承載多少的溫柔？在大爆炸發生之前，不要讓誤會擴大。不是嗎？知道他正看著自己，她就更加一句話也說不出來。說話呀﹗她心裡喊著，說話呀﹗我要瘋了﹗

拿起那被磨平了牙的餐刀，吃個橘子轉移注意力。你這小子，心裡賣的是甚麼葫蘆？難道要等到大家都沒了牙你才有點出息？掉了牙的刀鋒狠勁地在平滑的橘子皮上磨著，磨一下，滑一下，掉一下。橘子皮還是完整無缺的橘子皮。這掉了牙的刀如你，一點傷害力也沒有。沒有野心，沒有大志，等於沒有出息。但你看，他不會傷害你呀﹗而你就是那橘子，不停地要證明他的一無是處，連割掉一塊橘子皮的能力也沒有。誰才是殘忍？橘子的暴力，在於拒絕被切開，這是一種被動的、反抗式的暴力。原來，拒絕被愛，拒絕信任一個人，也可以來得如此暴力，如此具傷害力。

她開始生氣了，更加使勁地刮著橘子皮，生誰的氣呢我？他的手伸了過來，試圖接過她的刀子和橘子。但她的刀狠狠地前拉後扯著，找不著空間介入呀﹗她終於等了下來，冷冷地看著他，他安靜地取過橘子和刀，專心一致地切起橘子來。慢慢地把第一塊小皮切下來，然後第二塊、第三塊…… 把切好的橘子交給她。她小孩氣地抿一抿嘴，接過橘子，撕開了一片給他，他輕輕一笑，接過了橘子，也接過了她的手。

「這愚蠢的男人還是有些用。」她心裡想。

「這掉了牙的刀子還是有些用。」他心裡想。