2 August 2006

29 + 1 ︰這是一個責任問題

(本文為「29 + 1 」一劇而寫)









17 – 20 / 8 / 2006 8pm 香港藝術中心壽臣劇院


30 – 1
我常說,我沒有渡過29歲。30是一個心理關口,28時我已開始籌備我的30大關,29時我已默化了30。30時只是把29的「30之感」真實地活一次。漫長的30歲。

女人三十要獨立
踏入30大關之際,我突然辭去工作,携著行李箱到了巴黎。
隨之,我亦從豬肉佬口中的「亞妹」脫變為麵包師口中的「Madame」。
是老了?還是成熟了?

對於我的舉動,香港朋友說,「你真浪漫」,心裡那句是「你真不切實際」。
於是我說,這是一個「責任」問題。人總得為自己活一次,我要為我的生命負責任,而不是為別人的「期望」而活。
朋友總結說,「人是自私的。搞藝術的,更甚﹗」
各位藝術界的朋友們,我對不起大家了﹗

大概因為目的地是巴黎,所以大家自然聯想到「浪漫」二字。
事實?一點也不浪漫。
客在異鄉,面對的是一個更現實、更繁瑣的世界。如何為自己的未來打算?如何把握每一個不經常出現的機會?如何在各種不利的因素中爭取最佳表現?如何單身隻影參加攜眷派對?如何分得清法文名詞中的男與女?過來人對我說,請你比法國人苦幹三倍吧﹗

為何女人要上嫁?
我總說,香港女人是全亞洲最幸福的。我們享有亞洲女性中最大的社會自由和性別平等,所以港女表現出色,處處猶勝港男。女性要在生活和經濟上獨立,總已不成問題,問題在於「情緒獨立」或「感情獨立」。換句話說,買完「孤婆屋」,一下步就要「學習做孤婆」。而這,是一個痛苦的磨練。

早前讀過一篇文章,分析香港的男女人口比率和單身一族的型成原因。文中說,扣除菲傭人口,香港的適婚單身男性比女性多,但基於女人要上嫁的原因,所以,香港女人「嫁唔去」。問題是,既然大家 (各位姐妹) 可以衝破社會規範選擇單身,為何依然不能擺脫要「上嫁」的傳統價值觀?難道真的是喝慣紅酒,何苦要為一個男人喝啤酒?

我們有我們的夢想,我們也有我們的志向,何苦要做另一個人「背後的女人」?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just wanna say that you are definitely not 不切實際! I am very very proud of you!

~Jacqueline Lai

dreamhunter said...

Thanks a lot Jacqueline, I know you would say this, because you would make the same choice as I did if you were me. I would be very very proud of you as well. The only difference is that we see only the bright side as an outsider, but once you are inside, you will have to face all the disillusions, frustrations, moments of lost... all you can do is to tell yourself, there is no return, then you carry on with greater strength and hope, and knock at other doors.

Wish you peace in your heart! (This is not something religious, but some personal feelings these years. Useless we make peace with ourselves, with our heart, our life would just be miserable.)

Dilly Dally said...

我並沒有上嫁的朿縛,只是,我認為兩個人一起的時候要比一個人來得好(無論是生活上、情感上)。

我也沒有29歲,為了迎戰30大關,28歲的時候己覺得自己是30歲,到現在過了關口,又要為40而迎戰了...

追求理想總是要大量的付出,咬緊牙關吧!

dreamhunter said...

甚麼是「好」的準則?

有一句歌詞我一聽難忘,但不知出自何處︰

「一個人,逃避寂寞
兩個人,渴望自由」

生活是一種選擇,有得必有失,不能兩存其美。所謂「好」,是那一刻你要的是甚麼。

Dilly Dally said...

當然,感情路上的要素是timing。

Anonymous said...

Dear dreamhunter, yes, of course you know me well, only that I can't follow your path at this stage of my life...

ha, one more thing, make sure that you are not just 'hunting' your dream...when you got it, EMBRACE it!!! :)

~Jacqueline Lai

dreamhunter said...

Jacqueline,

Thanks a lot. You are right. It's important to embrace and cherish our dreams when they become true.

Most important of all, is to embrace and cherish life itself. Isn't life itself our greatest dream realized?

dreamhunter said...

Lilian,

Yes timing is a very decisive element in a relationship. Just don't mourn for the people we missed in our life ya...

Anonymous said...

hey, look forward to the chance to share a bottle of wine with you and say "cheers" to life!!!

+ cheers to our common vision to life!!!